December 2009
42 posts
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Fm SoCS - #0038 - 12/31/2009 - 12:36am-12:41am EST
Mama was cookin’ up a batch of biscuits when Dad rushed in from outside.
“The dog’s done dug up that reindeer carcass and started eatin’ on it,” he said, exasperated. “His turds are goin’ to be floatin’ around tomorrow, and the neighbors will start askin’ questions again.”
“I knew we shoulda cut it up and dropped it off at the dump,” Mama said as she was cutting biscuits out of the dough.
...
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Fm SoCS - #0037 - 12/30/2009 - 1:38am-1:43am EST
1: But, I said, “Whatever.” I don’t really care.
2: That’s a lie.
1: What?
2: You don’t even realize that you’re lying.
1: I’m not lying. I don’t care.
2: You care enough to talk about it.
1: I’m just telling you about something that’s going on in my life.
2: …which you care about.
1: No, no. I don’t care about it.
2: If you didn’t care about it, then, you wouldn’t talk about...
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Fm SoCS - #0036 - 12/29/2009 - 2:32am-2:37am EST
Canterbury was trotting along on his horse, Windeschmere, when he heard a terrible rustling in the surrounding woods. Startled and a little on edge, Windeschmere stopped in his tracks.
“Come now, Windy,” Canterbury said, calming his horse with soothing pats. “There’s nothing to be afraid of…”
Realizing that he spoke too soon, Canterbury caught sight of what it was that was spooking his poor...
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Fm SoCS - #0035 - 12/28/2009 - 1:03am-1:08am EST
Sleepy time was dreamy time in the Land of Long Noddings. The people of the land slept standing up, the way a horse or a cow does, but these people had two legs and looked just the way we do.
The people of the Land of Long Noddings fell asleep suddenly as they would nod and agree with one another, but though their bodies fell asleep, their minds remained active. Even the conversations they...
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Fm SoCS - #0034 - 12/27/2009 - 1:33am-1:38am EST
Simple. It wasn’t the right term to describe what Ken was doing, but it’s the closest thing to it. There was something else to it, something indescribable. He’d been working on a logo for a company for the past few days, designing and redesigning, making it instantly recognizable without the need for words. It needed to be a design that could be done both monochromatically and in full color. ...
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Fm SoCS - #0033 - 12/26/2009 - 6:03am-6:08am EST
Barry wanted to try out a new flavor of gum, something that had never crossed his lips or been chewed with his choppers. The problem was that he’d already tried all of these flavors. He made a trip to the drug store every two or three days to buy a packet of gum.
There didn’t ever seem to be anything new when he got up to the counter. He’d had all of the varieties of mint, orange, watermelon,...
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Fm SoCS - #0032 - 12/25/2009 - 2:18am-2:23am EST
As Santa was loading up his sleigh full of toys, he noticed that one of his elves wasn’t as happy as he usually had been throughout all of the preparation process for “The Delivery”, as they referred to it up at the North Pole.
“What’s wrong, Jangles?” Santa asked warmly.
“All of the toys are leaving,” Jangles replied morosely. “I loved playing with all of them, making sure that they were all...
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Fm SoCS - #0031 - 12/24/2009 - 5:20am-5:25am EST
The flightless bird soared through the air with the aid of a hand glider.
“Now I know why we aren’t supposed to do this!” he squawked in his native bird tongue. He was rigid for the entire flight, gripping so tightly with his flightless wings that they were starting to get numb. It was terribly traumatic for the little fellow.
By the time he landed, he’d gone through a complete set of...
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Fm SoCS - #0030 - 12/23/2009 - 12:14am-12:19am EST
He was hammering away in the garage, working on a chair that he’d been building all that week, when he heard his wife call from inside the house.
“Harold?!” she said with a tremulous voice.
She called him, “Harold.” That only happens when something major is going down. That, in combination with the tone in her voice, caused him to literally drop what he was doing and run inside.
“Becky!” he...
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Fm SoCS - #0029 - 12/22/2009 - 1:26am-1:31am EST
It was a hungry little bugger. The wondle was munching his way through the steel walls when Derek found him. “I think you’ve caused enough trouble for one week,” he said has he picked up the tiny creature with a pair of iron clamps.
The wondle was only about the size of your garden variety ant, but this one, lone creature was responsible for weakening the entire infrastructure of the north...
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Fm SoCS - #0028 - 12/21/2009 - 12:15am-12:20am EST
It was so pure, the purest of the purest white. It was the epitome of brilliance. Benny needed to turn and look away, but he couldn’t. The beauty pulled him in, enveloped him. His eyes were burning with the light, but he couldn’t stop staring.
It really was an angel. It really did exist. It really was standing right before him.
Never had Benny seen something with so much power and grace. ...
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Fm SoCS - #0027 - 12/20/2009 - 1:42am-1:47am EST
Standing on the corner of Windsor and Veldt, Tracie didn’t know which way to go, which way to look. She’d called her brother 23 minutes ago, and he still hadn’t showed up. She didn’t know how long of a drive it was from home, but waiting seemed like an eternity.
She’d gone to a party with some friends. They were seniors in high school and wanted a taste of what...
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Fm SoCS - #0026 - 12/19/2009 - 12:45am-12:50am EST
Frankie was having a tough time concentrating. He’d stayed up a bit too late the night before and had needed to get up early that morning. He needed another 3-4 hours of sleep to be a fully functioning human being, but as it was, he was just another corporate zombie in a conference room, listening to some guy drone on about how the economy has hit this company, too.
“We need fresh ideas,” the...
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Fm SoCS - #0025 - 12/18/2009 - 12:15am-12:20am EST
He had to keep going. There was no stopping now. Jeremy was on his way to becoming the slowest kid at the relay races in the school’s history, but he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t just give up. He needed to finish.
Screw all of that bull about “Everyone who participates is a winner!” This wasn’t for sympathy votes, though he knew that he wouldn’t get them, anyway. This wasn’t so that he could...
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Fm SoCS - #0024 - 12/17/2009 - 12:54am-12:59am EST
The jorbin was running through a field of wiffernaff when, suddenly, he was attacked by a huge nubblewobbler! Skittering right and left, the jorbin’s instinct was to try and confuse the dreadful beast. The jorbin rule of thumb is, “The larger the nubblewobbler, the easier he is to confuse.”
It was a wonder that the nubblewobblers continued to try to hunt the jorbins. They were terribly hard...
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Fm SoCS - #0023 - 12/16/2009 - 2:12am-2:17am EST
Something was wrong. Something was really, really wrong.
Douglas had been having a dream of late about a dog who becomes king of a castle made out of pork rinds. (He could never figure out why the dog never at the castle…) The dog was not, however, the ruler of a kingdom of other dogs. Oh, no. He was actually in charge of a bunch of pigs. That’s right…pigs. The castle was a reminder to...
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Fm SoCS - #0022 - 12/15/2009 - 1:34am-1:39am EST
Annabelle enjoyed dancing…a lot. She could never seem to pull herself away from practicing in the studio, at home, standing on the train…anyway, really. It was her lifeblood. It was what she ate. It was what she breathed.
It’s a terrible shame that she wasn’t actually any good.
Oh, sure, she put in the time. Anyone who was given proper training and who had spent as much time as she had...
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Fm SoCS - #0021 - 12/14/2009 - 12:00am-12:05am EST
Samantha wanted to go out to play. She’d been locked up in her room, quarantined from the rest of the house for the past three days. She was feeling better…well, better than the day before, anyway, and she was tired of just staring at the same four walls all day long. She didn’t even feel much like sleeping anymore during the evening, since she spent most of the day lying in bed.
The tree in...
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Fm SoCS - #0020 - 12/13/2009 - 3:09am-3:14am EST
It was late. Much too late for Jonathan to be awake, and, yet, he was. He really needed to be in bed by now. He had an exam in his first class at 8am. What was he still doing, mucking about at this hour?
John had been working on something that he thought was terribly important. Hunched over his work table, he was typing in some code on his laptop, which was attached to some crazy...
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Fm SoCS - #0019 - 12/12/2009 - 1:24am-1:29am EST
In the land of gooey gummy sugar jumbles, near the mountains of molten chocolate, lived a sourpuss named Salamander. He despised all things sweet and sugary. Why then, you might ask, does he continue to live in such a sweet place?
This may be hard to explain to someone who lives in what most people call “the real world”, but there is a captivating nature about the land of gooey gummy sugar...
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Fm SoCS - #0018 - 12/11/2009 - 2:18am-2:23am EST
“Something strange is afoot,” Eddie said to his little sister, trying to sound intelligent and mysterious. Eddie wasn’t really either, but being an older brother of a very young and gullible sibling, it was easy to fake.
“What’s on our feet?” Cynthia asked, already grossed out by the prospect of having some foreign substance on her Hello Kitty socks.
“Not on your feet, stupid. When something...
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Fm SoCS - #0017 - 12/10/2009 - 2:36am-2:41am EST
The ant crawled nonchalantly over to a daisy…an ordinary, everyday daisy. To us, it might not be anything special, but to an ant who’s never seen one before, it’s like seeing the Eifel Tower for the first time, or one of those redwood trees that are hundreds of years old. It’s astounding. It’s amazing. It’s the perfect place to set up shop and attract ant tourists.
So, Gary the ant did just...
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Fm SoCS - #0016 - 12/09/2009 - 2:49am-2:54am EST
1: …something that goes with sesame seeds…
2: What?
1: I need something that goes with sesame seeds.
2: Uh…sesame seed bun?
1: Really? That’s all you’ve got? A sesame seed bun?
2: Well, you haven’t come up with anything, yet.
1: Ya know, I try to buy groceries to make a nice meal for my roommate, and all I get back is crap and complaining.
2: Look, I told you I’m no good in a...
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Fm SoCS - #0015 - 12/08/2009 - 3:22am-3:27am EST
Tomithy (yes…his name was Tomithy) was making a sandwich when he heard a terribly loud noise in the den. He dropped his bottle of squeeze mustard and ran…nay, charged into the den to see what had happened.
There was a terribly awkward burglar standing in the center of his den, swaying a bit back and forth, as though he were trying to recover from some sort of trauma to the head, which is...
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Fm SoCS - #0014 - 12/07/2009 - 1:52am-1:57am EST
“How about a nice big steak, hm? That’ll cheer you up!”
Danny’s mother seemed to believe that every emotional problem could be solved with food. Thank goodness she was a happy woman with a high metabolism, or she’d be 400 pounds of depressed flab, riding a scooter around Wal-mart to get her weekly gross of pork rinds.
“I’m not hungry, Mom,” was his reply.
...
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Fm SoCS - #0013 - 12/06/2009 - 3:20am-3:25am EST
Bent over his work, the farmer continued pulling up weeds. “How did there get to be so many of them this time?” he thought to himself as his neck started to ache. “I need to get some help and soon. I’m getting too old to do this by myself.”
The farmer had never married and, thus, didn’t have a house full of strapping young boys to help out in the field. It’s not that he wasn’t a nice enough...
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Fm SoCS - #0012 - 12/05/2009 - 2:15am-2:20am EST
Father Time sat on a pedestal, chatting with Mother Nature, who was lounging on a pile of more-than-willing bunnies.
“I seem to be running out of…well…time these days,” Father Time was saying wearily. “I start my day doing something; then, before I know it, it’s the evening.”
“Father Time running out of time?” Mother Nature retorted. “That’s not only...
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Fm SoCS - #0011 - 12/04/2009 - 3:15am-3:20am EST
1: Stop it.
2: What?
1: Just stop.
2: What am I doing that I need to stop?
1: You don’t know?
2: Should I?
1: You know, you always do this!
2: Do what?
1: Every single time, you act like you don’t know what it is that you’re doing.
2: Well, if you would actually tell me, I might know not to do it.
1: Or, if I tell you, you’ll keep on doing it for spite.
2: Seriously? Is...
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Fm SoCS - #0010 - 12/03/2009 - 2:33am-2:38am EST
The alarm clock awoke Jerry from his slumber. He’d been dreaming about eating a hamburger as big as a mountain on top of a cloud of cotton candy. “Why do I always get woken up when something fantastic is happening?” he wondered to himself as he lumbered out of bed to the bathroom to shower.
It had been a long month for Jerry. He’d been more broke than usual, and it made it hard to get any...
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Fm SoCS - #0009 - 12/02/2009 - 3:13am-3:18am EST
Soft. It was so very, very soft. She’d never felt anything like it. The fur of her new bunny was the softest thing Mary Ellen had ever touched. She had no words to describe it. This was mostly due to the fact that she couldn’t talk, yet, being only a few months old.
Some would say that she was being spoiled, having a pet even before she knew what a pet was, but it was hard not to spoil a...
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Fm SoCS - #0008 - 12/01/2009 - 1:38am-1:43am EST
It wasn’t Hank’s fault that he had really good hearing. That’s just the way that it was. He could hear really, really quiet things, and loud noises often “overloaded” his ears to where he couldn’t make out any one noise in particular, like a microphone when it gets blown out by too much sound.
So, when Hank went to a new place, the first night was always the hardest to sleep because he could...